Oil Pulling: This is a Thing Now

If you can cook with it, you can swish with it!

Rinse my mouth with EVOO? OIL YOU PULLING MY LEG!?!?!

Sorry for the dad joke, but ALSO I’M NOT SORRY. Because it was the perfect setup: Just like dads, oil pulling is helpful, old-school, kind of awkward, and cheap. The name is a little misleading, so for those of you who don’t regularly receive Ayurvedic healing books for Festivus, let me explain. Oil pulling is the practice of swishing (vegetable) oil around in your mouth for 10-20 minutes, once or twice/ day. Yep, just like mouthwash, only more time-consuming, and with OIL. This is an ancient Ayurvedic tradition people have employed for thousands of years to improve oral health, whiten teeth, strengthen gums, and according to those who believe that all disease begins in the mouth, boost overall health. According to this book (which I skimmed) oil pulling can heal pretty much anything. Okay. So. I don’t do this every day, but I HAVE experimented with doing it on the regs. And while I have not personally experienced any major health breakthroughs or J-Lo skin glow from OP-ing, I have found it’s a great way to treat occasional mouth/ tooth/ gum/ tongue discomfort and/or inflammation. I’ve tried Sesame, Sunflower, Coconut, Olive, and Grapeseed oils (which all taste the same level of gross) and I’ve found that Coconut oil SLIGHTLY whitens teeth. If you’re gonna try this, make sure to use organic oil. Also go for extra-virgin/ cold-pressed/ unrefined if possible.

Here’s how to oil pull:

1. Swish 1-2 Tablespoons of oil around your mouth for 20 minutes. Yeah, gross. I know. I usually only make it for 10. Also, do not swallow that shit.

2. When you’re done, spit it in the trash.

3. Rinse your mouth and brush your teeth.

Again, this probably won’t solve all your problems, but it’s a great way to clear up that canker sore you got from face-palming cake at your sister’s wedding. Also, you should probably read this book about not face-palming cake.